Thursday, March 13, 2008

Sms Hot Sms

I AM A JAMAICAN i lIVE IN A TREE I SELL RUBEER JONNYS FOR 99P SOME FOR A FIVER AND SOME FOR A BOB IT ALL DEPENDS ON THE SIZE OF ya knob SO 5 R'S TO U sIR

The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAVE-SEX.
Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.

Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now? I'm 16.. Shut up, Albert…

I'm popey the sailorman, I'm member of the klu klux clan, when I pull the triger, I kill a fucking nigger. I'm popey the sailor man, toet toet.

Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't…

Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself.

Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you.

I don't love. I don't care. I just married a millionair. And if he dies I don't cry, I just fuck another

5 differences between Turkish en ET: ET looked better, ET learned English, ET came alone, ET had his own bike and wanted to go home!

Feeling stoned? feeling high? Fuck a duck and try to fly.

DO NOT PRESS ANY KEY This is: -Virus- Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Hehe! NERVOUS?

I'd ride u sitting, I'd ride u lying. If u were a bird I'd ride u flying. And when ur dead and long forgotten I'll dig u up and ride u rotten.

Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!

NOKIA VIRUS Enter PIN code: Enter PIN code: F Enter PIN code: FU Enter PIN code: FUC Enter PIN code: FUCK YOU ! YOU JUST BEEN FUCKED BY ME

The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAVE-SEX.
Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.

Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't…

Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself.

Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you.

I don't love. I don't care. I just married a millionair. And if he dies I don't cry, I just fuck another

Feeling stoned? feeling high? Fuck a duck and try to fly.


Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!

NOKIA VIRUS Enter PIN code: Enter PIN code: F Enter PIN code: FU Enter PIN code: FUC Enter PIN code: FUCK YOU ! YOU JUST BEEN FUCKED BY ME

Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!

NOKIA VIRUS Enter PIN code: Enter PIN code: F Enter PIN code: FU Enter PIN code: FUC Enter PIN code: FUCK YOU ! YOU JUST BEEN FUCKED BY ME

Linux is like a wigwam, no windows, no gates and an apache inside …

Jack and Jill went up the hill 2 fetch a
pale of water, we dont know what they did up there
but they came back with a daughter.

Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
.
.
.
A: Golden Retriever.

One day you will ask me what is more important to me you or my life i will say my life and you will walk out and leave me not even realising that YOU ARE MY LIFE!!!

ALI G POEM:hickory dickory dock dis bitch was suckin me cock the clock struck 2 den wiped me dick on er frock PASS IT ON, RESPECT!

i am a farmer who lives in a bog, i'm widely known for the size of my knob, 2 big for women, so non can i keep, but its just the right size for shaggin me sheep!!

mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? the mirror smiled and gave a grunt, and said not you, you ugly cunt!

Vodafone regrets to inform you that the network has gone down on everyone expect you. We regret to inform you that nothing would go down on you, not even a network!

Men R Like A Pack Of Cards, U Need a ''HEART'' To Love Them, A ''DIAMOND'' To Marry Them, A ''CLUB'' To Batter Them, And A ''SPADE'' To Bury The Bastards!!

This cat is dog an dog easy cat way cat to keep a dog cat battyhole dog like cat you dog occupied...now throw the pets out and read it again...

A-Ur Attractive B-Ur Beautiful C-Ur Charming D-Ur Delicious E-Ur Exciting F-Ur Funny G-Ur Gorgeous H-Ur Heavenly I-Im J-Just K-Kidding L-Loser

Hello to the owner of the cell-phone with no.+44........Your sim-card is been cracked open by Hacker's,and will destroy your phone within 24 hours,from NOW

Death is the greatest kick of all.That's why they save it for last!

Yes, God made you first,but there's always a rough draft before the final copy.

This cat,is cat,a cat,good cat,way cat,to cat,keep cat,an cat,idiot cat,busy cat,for cat,20 cat,seconds cat!...Now read it without the word cat.

Few minuets back 5m were having sex 2 million were in gun fights 91m having party and one crazy fucker had time to send me an fucking text msg.

At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun fights 91m at a party and one sad fucker is reading his msg (Tip: If you recive this message send message NR. 29 Back)

On D Planet Rite Now 10,000,000 Indians r Aplyin 4 A Visa.. 10,000,000 Indians R Doin Fraud.. 1,000,000 R Drivin Taxis.. & 1 Dumb Indian Is Readin This Message!!

This sms can only be read by a SEXY person: Try again...... Nothing? Sorry, i guess your just not SEXY..HEY! dont force it, ugly git!!

This mgs can only b read by a MEN: Try again.. Nothing? i guess ur just not masculine enough....HEY don't push it poof

Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS 1)dey r always out of order 2)dey stink 3)the nice ones r always engaged 4)dey consume large amounts of liquid 5)r constantlt full of shit!

*NEWSFLASH* Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 1000 tampons for £1, No Strings attached but for a limited period ONLY! Its A bloody good deal !

This is your mobile operator and we just found out you are too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it . Thank you

Please turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry 370HSSV 0773H

How do you keep an idiot in suspense ??? ............. ............ ...tell you later !!!

*Newsflash*The FA have just announced garly gliter the next England Coach.The appontment collapsed after he tried to put seaman in the under 15's

Hi i'm an alien i'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook searching..... searching..... searching..... sorry no chicks found. conclusion, your are gay!

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and suddenly I realized that I was talking to myself

We will now upgrade your brain, please wait............ Searching............ Searching......... still searching.............. sorry NO BRAIN found ! ! !

The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAVE-SEX. Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.

How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ................... .................... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*

Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now? I'm 16.. Shut up, Albert...

Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't..

Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you.

I don't love. I don't care. I just married a millionair. And if he dies I don't cry, I just fuck another guy.

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.

Don't drink water.... Fish fuck in it!

Feeling stoned? feeling high? Fuck a duck and try to fly.

DO NOT PRESS ANY KEY This is: -Virus- Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Hehe! NERVOUS?

I'd ride u sitting, I'd ride u lying. If u were a bird I'd ride u flying. And when ur dead and long forgotten I'll dig u up and ride u rotten.

NOKIA VIRUS Enter PIN code: Enter PIN code: F Enter PIN code: FU Enter PIN code: FUC Enter PIN code: FUCK YOU ! YOU JUST BEEN FUCKED BY ME

Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!

Linux is like a wigwam, no windows, no gates and an apache inside..

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One willy said to another willy,my owner is well kind he washes me and always keeps me warm and never hurts me.the other replies my owner is a shady basterd he puts me in a plastic bag and shuves me down a black hole.

u r summond 2 cupids court for:1)stealin my heart 2)trespassin in my dreams. if ur found guilty ur sentenced to 4 hours of raw sex with me, how do u plead?

if a pair of tits weigh 2lb how much
duz a cunt weigh?
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HERES 10p, GO AND WEIGH YOURSELF!

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
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He wiped his arse

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Last night, I needed u so badly, I wanted 2 taste you, I wanted you in me so you could work your powers on me but i couldn't find you
Mr. PARACETAMOL!!

there r 5 milion monkeys havin a wank, there r 4 milion gorilaz havin a suck, 3 milion baboons havin a fuck. and there's 1 ugly ape readin this message

You've got mail!
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.
.
Open it please!
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Invitation for a shag!
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.
.
Phone me for details

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You've got mail!
.
.
.
Open it please!
.
.
.
Invitation for a shag!
.
.
.
.
Phone me for details

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You look like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way
down.

If u want me
2 give u sum
press down
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
R u asleep
yet coz
dreamin is
as close
as ya gonna
get.....

Are you a doctor?, only i thik i've twisted my ankle falling for you!

The fluffy cloud may kiss the sky, the rose may kiss the butterfly, the morning due may kiss the grass but you my friend may kiss my ass!!

friend ship is a vast like universe ! like sea a top ,like sweet as rose and all wishes band ..!! By: Humara

If 10 people in the world care 4 u, then one of them is "ME", if 1 person cares 4 u, then it would be "ME" again, but..if no one cares 4 u, then, "IM" not in this world anymore

If you need a friend and there are a hundred steps between us, you can take the 1st step to get near me and i will take all 99 steps to be there for you..

What's wrong with your HP?Everytime I dial ur number, theoperator keep saying "the person you are calling is having sex".....!....

Im at the Police Station. Police caught me & filed a case against me. "POSSESSION OF GOOD LOOKS" I'm doomed! NEED SOMEONE UGLY 2 BAIL ME OUT; So HURRY UP!

Friendship is like peeing in your pants... Everyone can see it but only you can see the true warmth of it! Thank you for being the pee in my pants!

An American psychology survey recent;y stated that if you are sexually inexperienced and not food in bed, you will be holding this phone with your right hand

Close ur eyes and make a wish Angelz will b there to blow u a kiss They'll guide u and make all ur dreams come true Just like they did for me wen I asked for a frend like u

. .....Friends r like stars....you do not ALWAYS SEE them but you know they r always there. "Just like you"

Psst! Cutie... ..yes YOU! Ur smiling again Its coz i told u dat ur CUTE hey...... Sometimes we need 2 lie Just to make some one SMILE!

Who Wants 2 B A £MILLIONAIRE£ Let's play? Q.Nobody likes u cos u r a: A.Cunt B.Wanka C.Rsole D.Twat 50/50 Phone a friend? RING ME! I'LL TELL U!

A-Ur Attractive B-Ur Beautiful C-Ur Charming D-Ur Delicious E-Ur Exciting F-Ur Funny G-Ur Gorgeous H-Ur Heavenly I-Im J-Just K-Kidding L-Loser

There is: Hot-Sex, Fast-Sex, Cuddle-Sex, Safe-Sex, Group-Sex, SM-Sex, Telephone-Sex, Cyber-Sex, and for people like you: NO SEX.

If you are in trouble, If you need a hand, Just call my number, because I'm your friend!

Hi, I am an alien and I'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook..Searching..Searching..Searching..Sorry,no chicks found! Gay?
Conclusion: You Are Gay!

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

What do I miss about my wife? Her absence.

If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.

*I'm not as dumb as you look.

Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your gsm....still searching.......no brain found.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Frankenstein is ugly, but what the hell happend to you?

I must have been born under a lucky star , to find a friend as nice as you are. I will follow the rainbow to the end , if you promise to remain my friend !!!

Roses are red violines are bleu, a face like yours belongs to the zoo.

Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too!

When darkness moves in on me, it is the love of people like you that allows me to go through defeat and still know to be fully accepted.

Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver the other gold.

Wherever you go, whatever you do, may god's angels watch over you.

Life isn't easy it will never be .... Remember you got friends one of them is me

Secrets, they only last long enough to break you down.

This sms can only be readed by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!

The NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please report to your nearest hospital to be put down. We apologise for any inconvenience.

Yes, God made you first, but there is always a rough draft before the final copy.

Hello too the owner of the cell-phone with no.+316........Your sim-card is been cracked open by Hacker's,and will destroy your phone within 24 hours,from NOW!

The morning is just a few moments away. Go to sleep and when you wake up, remember me as a friend who is allways there for you and never let you down

A ring is round and has no end, that's how long I'll be your friend!!!

Friends are just like stars. You don't always see them, but you now they are there for you. Your friend

U got style, u got sex-appeal, u got the intelligence and u sure got the body. Wait. Sorry, wrong number!

We will now upgrade your brain, please wait............ Searching............ Searching......... still searching.............. sorry NO BRAIN found !

I am a killer, I kill people for money. But because you are my friend, I'll kill you for nothing!

*I'm not as dumb as you look.

Umm...your .... ZIP is open...

Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your gsm....still searching.......no brain found.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Frankenstein is ugly, but what the hell happend to you?

Roses are red violines are bleu, a face like yours belongs to the zoo.

I must have been born under a lucky star , to find a friend as nice as you are. I will follow the rainbow to the end , if you promise to remain my friend !!!

When darkness moves in on me, it is the love of people like you that allows me to go through defeat and still know to be fully accepted.

Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too!

Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver the other gold.

Wherever you go, whatever you do, may god's angels watch over you.

Life isn't easy it will never be .... Remember you got friends one of them is me

Secrets, they only last long enough to break you down.

The NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please report to your nearest hospital to be put down. We apologise for any inconvenience.

This sms can only be readed by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!

Yes, God made you first, but there is always a rough draft before the final copy.

Hello too the owner of the cell-phone with no.+316........Your sim-card is been cracked open by Hacker's,and will destroy your phone within 24 hours,from NOW!

The morning is just a few moments away. Go to sleep and when you wake up, remember me as a friend who is allways there for you and never let you down

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rishtay ki baat chal rahi thi: larka clerk hai 5000 selary hai..uper say 15000 kamata hai.?Larki nurse hai 2500 selary hai..Nichay say 5000 kmati hai:::

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pajamay mai meray ye kia hoo raha hai,Chota tha phelay Ab bhara hoo raha hai?Yun tu hai ye muhazib buhat,Ehtraman mai tumharay ye khara hoo raha hai.

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3 Sardar Talking about Aids:(1 mai tu condom kay bagair kerta he nahi. (2 mai tu ungli mai bhi condom pohenta hoon.3 mai tu bilkul risk nahi leta prossie say kerwata hoon.

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kaam wali ko condom mila.Malkin ye kia hai?Malkin:tere gaoon mai kia sex nahi hota?Kaam Wali:karte hai per itna nahi k lun ki khal utaar jaye.

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Ek raat bivi nay pak sir zameen laga dia.Shohar:-ye kia chala dia hai.Bivi:Last try hai,is gane per pura pakistan khara hoo jata hai,shayed ap ka bhi khara hoo jaiye.

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i hav 1,u hav 1,ur mother uses ur father 1,aunty uses uncles 1,chines hav short 1,indian hav long 1,Do u hav 1? Yes! i m talking about ur name.

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life is a wasted of time.Time is a waste of life,SOstay wasted all the time,and have the time of your life.

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wen u kiss a british girl she says kiss me hard'wen u kiss a american girl she says kiss me slow.wen u kiss a paki girl she says'kissi nu na dassi'.

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Mangta hoo tu deti nahi,jawab meri baat ka.Deti hai tu khara hoo jata hai,Ang Ang meray jazbat ka.Kheti hai ab dal bhi doo,Balon mai phool gulaab ka.Abhi dala he tha kay bikhar giya pata pata GULAB ka.

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Teacher to student: jab main sakht hoti houn to bahut sakht hoti houn aur jab naram hoti houn to bahut naram hoti houn. Student: phir to aap meri phullo jaisi hoin.

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AISHWARIYA RAI NANGI NAHA RAHI C,gore-gore mummean te saaban laga rahi c, fuddi te unglaan fer-fer jhagg bana rahi c, hathaan nu nange badan te kade utte kade thalle lija rahI C. ohdi har ada qayamat dha rahi c,maithon reha na gaya,lunn da aakda hor saha na gaya, agge vadh ke usde mumme nu dabb ditta,gilli fuddi vich lunn dhakk ditta, chauthe ghasse vich hi chhut gaya, ajj 1 hor supna tut gaya, sutte pay da fir vich chhut gaya.

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"A short thing, it gets longer when u hold it, n pass between women breasts, n enters into a hole,wat is it?1 min 2 think!Car seat belt.

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beauty is not how u look,its not how hndsom u r,it's not ur figure 2...beauty is da inerself,so change ur undrwear daily

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3 gushtian aapas mai apni khawahishai bol rahi thee Pehli gushti : Meray 2 husbnd hon jo sari raat lain.Dosri gushti :Meray 4 hon din raat ki shift lagain.Tesri:Mera ek hi shohar ho.us ka chota sa lun ho.us se mera ek beta ho.jo bra ho k younis khan bney.worldcup ka final ho.last bal pr 2 run ki zrorat ho aur woh out ho jai.16 crore awam khay TERI MAA KO LUN.

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Enter Pin code to touch my heart:**********Wrong pass word!!!You have touched my Dick.Now wash ur hands and try again...!

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Sabsay Bara TERRORIST Kon? Aurat. Jo Her Rat Aik TOWER Giradaiti Hai. Or Sabsay Bara BUILDER Kon? Aurat. Jo Ugli Rat Os TOWER Ko Khara Bhi Kardaiti Hai.

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A couple went 4 honey moon for a week.After returning husband asked" how was da whole week"? Wife said....the WHOLE WEEK made my HOLE WEAK..

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75yrs old man got married vid a 15yrs girl. on thier 1st wedding night both were cryingy????coz larki ko kuch pata nahi tha aur baba jee sab bhool chuke thay.

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I m sending"LUN" for you. L = Lots of love. U = Utmost care. N = Never ending friendship. So have my "LUN" and enjoy.

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Son: Aisi kaun si cheez hai jiske har taraf baal hain?Dad: Chup kar!MARUNGA!Son: Main bataun... AANKH!Dad: Haan. Theek.Son: Aap CHUUT samajh rahe thay na?

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A club dancer was dancing and audience Clapped Fully. Then she removed top... more clap. Then she removed bra...more clap. Suddenly she removed her Panty but No clap! She asked her manager- what happened? He said with one hand Public can't clap. sikandar

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China's President name YUA YUA MA YUA,Prime minister's name MA YUAEE,Army chief TUNG SHUNG CHUK,Foreign minister LUN SHUN PA,First lady CHUN ZOR LA.

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larki:yeh tum boys har waqt mobile pent ki jeb main kion rakhte ho???Larka:is waja se ke yahan signal acche milte hain Larki:Woh kese Larka:tower jo kareeb hai

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Wife: Aha.zara Aram se karo Shalimar express chala rahey ho?Hsbnd:Kyun Mal Gari chlaon?Itne mei muna Bed se gira or bola jo mrzi chlao magar sawarian na girao.

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A cal girl had sex with a doctor,in the climax she asks him r u a anathestis doctor?yes! but how do u know?girl: Kab dala, kab nikala,kuch pata hi nahi chla.

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1 ghunda 1 larki ka rape kar raha tha, choudtey hue poucha k tumhara boyfrnd kahan hai? Ladki ne kaha tum bus choudtey raho, vo bhousri ka sms parh raha hai...

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Boy: can i touch ur software?Girl: first show me ur hardware?Boy: should i install it in ur system?Girl: cover it with antivirus & then install.

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Sardarni: Sardar Ji rat ko 3 chor aye aur mera zoor daar RAPE kar kay chalay gaye. Sardar: Tum ne unko roka nahain? Sardarni: Sardar Ji bohat bola rukney ko.. magar wo bolay kay ab aur taqat nahain hai.

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Bipasha aur karina ka noor tujh pey barsey, har koi terey sath soney ko tarsey, teri zindagi main aayein itni ladkiyan, k tu shalwar pehanney ko tarsey!Kasa

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Aisi kon se jagah hay, jis jagah Mard aur aurat dono k baal "Curly" hotay hayn? KYA? Toba karo Kitna Ganda sochte ho yar! Wo jagah hay AFRICA!.

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Boy: i cn kis u widout even touching u, Girl: u cant, Boy: lagi RS 20 20 ki, Girl: ok (Boy start kissing) Girl: u touched me Boy: ok ye lo 20 rupee.

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*** SEASON DHAMAKA *** send your girlfriend to me & get a child free ........... Hurry ............ First 10 winners will get twins.......
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HEIGHT OF POVERTY: Wife stiching husband's condom.HEIGHT OF INNOCENCE: A girl applying clearsil 2 her nipples thinking they r pimples.HEIGHT OF AMBITION:An ant s climbing on the leg of elephant with a motive of rape.HEIGHT OF UNEMPLOYMENT: A spider web found in a prostitutes pussyHEIGHT OF LAZINESS: Naked man sleeping on top of a naked woman expecting an earthquake 2 do d rest.HEIGHT OF PATIENCE: A guy standing in a queue to fuck his wife

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Boy: Teacher,Teacher,why my daddy has got so few hair on his head?Teacher: He must be thinkinig a lotBoy: So,why do you have so much hair?

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Boy : if i press ur boobs n run wat shall u thinkGirl : i shall think 1 bewakuf jo puri car chala skta tha srf horn dba k bhag gya...

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Aik pathan ki shadi k 3 din bad uski bivi ne kaha,mai ne aapsay shadi isliye ki hai k hamaray bachay hoon, isliye nahi ki k meri KAABAZ khul jaaye.

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Opal ny india main apni aik naya car model launch kiya hai.. Named as LAURA... N subha driver us wqt buht confuse ho jaty hain jub maem saab kehti hain...'driver laura nikalo'.... Hahahah

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HEIGHT OF POVERTY: Wife stiching husband's condom.HEIGHT OF INNOCENCE: A girl applying clearsil 2 her nipples thinking they r pimples.HEIGHT OF AMBITION:An ant s climbing on the leg of elephant with a motive of rape.HEIGHT OF UNEMPLOYMENT: A spider web found in a prostitutes pussyHEIGHT OF LAZINESS: Naked man sleeping on top of a naked woman expecting an earthquake 2 do d rest.HEIGHT OF PATIENCE: A guy standing in a queue to fuck his wife

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Boy : if i press ur boobs n run wat shall u thinkGirl : i shall think 1 bewakuf jo puri car chala skta tha srf horn dba k bhag gya...

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Aik pathan ki shadi k 3 din bad uski bivi ne kaha,mai ne aapsay shadi isliye ki hai k hamaray bachay hoon, isliye nahi ki k meri KAABAZ khul jaaye.

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Tü Sübäh Uthäy Tüjh pè Nöör Chärhäy Tü Nähäyè Tüjh pè Nöör Chärhäy Tü Müsküräyè Tüjh pè Nöör Chärhäy Här Wäqät Tüjh pè Nöör Chärhäy Apkä Täläbgär NöörKhän !!

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Hasrat thi k kholein un ki shalwar ka nala. Un ki brazzier ka huk. Un ki penty ka lastic. Magar sanam ki berukhi to dekho. Woh nange hi chale aaye.

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Bad news!!! lund par GST lag gaya hai...8or10 inch par100Rs...7or6 inch par 50Rs...5or4 inch par 25 rupees...Tu tension mat le 01 or 02 inch par tax maf hai!!§

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Judge: Why do u want divorce?Man: My wife doesn't satisfy me in bed.Judge to wife: Is it correct?Wife: Sara mohalla khush hai, bas esi ko taklif hai.

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Are YouMale.?OrFemale.?Answer janny k liye Neechy daikho...!. . .- - - - . . . . . .Bewaqoof.....!yaha nahi Apny Neechy daikho.

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Q: Who's senior: Penis or Vagina?
A: Vagina, because penis always stands up in its honour

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A man was fucking a nurse. She shouts: Aah it's painful.Man: Kamini, daily u r injecting me where I don?t hv hole,But I'm putting it in ur hole

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A Nazim was fucking a lady councelor. She says ? R u doing. Nazim reply 'iqtadar ko nichly satah tak muntaqil ker raha hon'

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In a examination hal girl sitting on a sardar's back, asked him 'mae tuhadi nakal mar lan' sardar replied mar lay per mae taree asal maran ga.

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BOY: kiss karonGirl: lipstic khrab hojaygiBoy: boobs dabaooGirl:shirt khrab hojaygiBOY: Fuck karoonGirl: period se honBoy: ab ye mat kahna ke motion hen!

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One pakistani was doing hand practice. A british see and asked what are u doing? Pakistani replied it is pak technology, i am fucking my wife through satellite.

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Kid saw mom breast askd: Ye kya hay?Mom:GhubareKid:Saath Wali anti ke ziada baray hayMom:Unke kab daikhe?Kid:Jab papa unke ghubare mein hava bhar rahe they

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1 ladki thi sexy si,1 lund pe wo marti thi,chori-chori chupke chupke chut pe khujli karti thi,chudna tha shayad usko,par Lambe Lund Se darti thi! Jab bhi milti thi mujhse,yehi poocha karti thi, ye lund kaisa hota hai, yeh lund kaisa hota hai, aur mein yehi keh deta tha ki jo MSG PArh raha hay us jaisa hota hai.

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D.S.P: aj tak kitne larke chode hain?SUBEDAR: sir bs 260, D.S.P: Ziyada maza kis main aaya?SUBEDAR: sir wo joo abhe sms parh raha hai .
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Teri lita k lu?Ya bitha ke lu?Karun andhera ya bulb jala ke lu?Ya tujhe karu khara,phir teri jhuka ke lu?Ab tu hi bata k main teri.PHOTOkaisey lu?

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Larki k Baap ne Rukhsati k waqt Dulha se kaha: "Beta hamari izzat ab tumharay haath main hai" Dulha: "Fikar mat karain aaj hi loot loonga"

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Ek Molvi: Film actor k paas masjid ka chanda mangne gaya.Actor: Ap to kehte hain ka hamara pesa haraam heMolvi: Es pese se ham latreen banaainge:-

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Kid saw mom breast askd: Ye kya hay?Mom:GhubareKid:Saath Wali anti ke ziada baray hayMom:Unke kab daikhe?Kid:Jab papa unke ghubare mein hava bhar rahe they

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Sardar entered in to ladies toilet."a lady said ye toilet ladies ke liye hay"...sardar opened his zip n said yeh sala bhi tou ladies ke liye hay....

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A girl goes to repair umbrella, man says, upar ka kapra utarna parega aur neechay rod dalna pare ga, girl says, Kuch bhi karo par ANDAR PANI NAHI JANA CHAHIYE

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According to chinese Docs, a Woman's body hav 5 rooms:
1.Face ; Show Room 2.Boobs ; play Room 3.Tummy ; Store Room 4.Vagina ; Men's Room 5.Anus ; emergency room.

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A Rat Doing sex with an elephant under a coconut tree. Suddenly a coconut falls on elephant's head. Elephant shouted with pain. Rat : ok ok i will do slowly.!

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Newton's 3 laws. 1.Every man has a pole, woman has a hole 2.When pole enters hole, it produces a new soul 3.When hand in motion, it produces lotion.

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Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalty hain!Garl: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nahi karogy? Boy: Bilkul nahi! Garl: To phir rehne do.

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A friend like u is not like boobs coz everyone sucks them. Not like vagina coz it tears. You r like a penis coz it always stands when needed.

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BOY;Jab tumahara rape hua to tum ne kya mehsoos kiya? Girl:Ladoo agar zabardasti khilaya jaye to bhi lagta to meetha he hai na.

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Aurat kay haath mein bari BARKAT hoti hai, 3 inch ka do 7 inch ka kardeti hai per us ki choot mein ajeeb HARKAT hoti hai, 7 inch ka do 3 inch ka kardeti hai.

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1admi larki chodne gayaus nay larki ko nanga kya or ulta jhuka kr bola tumhari choot pr 1 bi baal naihaikyunLarki:Bhosrike chodne aya hai ya"KANGI" kerne.

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Santa raping a girl in car.A cop came and said : What are u doing.? Santa : I am raping her.Cop: Ok I am next.. Santa : Fine but I have never raped a cop before

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Girl after having sex with 4 Boys in Hostel..I shud go,I m getting lateBoys:Kuch der or ruk jaoGirl:Aur nahi ruk sakti,Papa bilawaja shak karty hain..

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Mallika Sherawat goes to skin doctor and asks: main nahatey waqt kya lagaun? DoctOr:Bathroom ki kundi :))

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5 RULES OF GIRLS
1.love me but dont touch me
2.touch me but dont kiss me
3.kiss me but dont fuck me
4.fuck me but dont leave me
5.leave me but dont tell anyone

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Women life is so hard
Morning: Washing clothes
Noon: Hanging clothes
Evening: Folding clothes
Mid night: Removing clothes
After night: Searching clothes.

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