Rude SMS Messages

You are Chinese

One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.



Words and meaning

You don't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again you don't know the meaning of most words.



I'm new -

Are you free tonight, or will it cost me? I'm new in town, can you give me directions to your flat?

What happned to you?

Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born smart & handsome, but what the hell happend to you?

In style

Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!



Let it rain ...

The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2.If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?



How u like it?

Hi, how do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertilized?


The prayer -

Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If you can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen.



The head -

If my head looks like yours, I'd shave my rear end and walked on my hands.



The toilet door

On the door of a toilet....Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit like thunder!

Keeping busy ...

How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ...... ... .. ........ ..... ......... .. .... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*

Toet Toet ...

I'm popey the sailorman, I'm member of the klu klux clan, when I pull the triger, I kill a fuc***g nigger. I'm popey the sailor man, toet toet.



Smallest thing ..

Mobile phones are the only things in live of which men talk about having the smallest.



Curtain & Panty

Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over but when u pull a panty the show begins...


Doctor & me

A man said 2 his doctor 'everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection' the doctor said 'That's because u look like a cunt!



God & me -

When I was young I begged God for a bike, but God does not work that way... so I stole a bike and begged for forgiveness!



Kimm me baby ...

Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless they r tasted, kiss's spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated!

Different types!

(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!

The glasses

Nature is a miracle. One million years ago no one knew people would wear glasses but our ears are at the right spot



Apology

Sorry! Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.



Ever been to moon?

Have you ever been to the moon ? no ! sit on my rocket and I will take you there


For you ...

There is hot sex, fast sex, group sex, safe sex, leather sex, telephone sex and for people wid a face like urs theres.............masturbation



Poem ..

Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,Wid a throb of his nob in her gob,Wid a tingle in his belly,his legs turn to jelly cos shes doin a good job!



3 monkeys -

3 monkeys escaped from the zoo ... one was caught watching tv ... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

Lets talk ...

How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

Nothing will go down ..

T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u.We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u.not even a network



Sex at age! -

How women think about sex:At 8 ignore it,Age 18 experience it,Age 28 look 4 it,Age 38 ask 4 it,Age 48 beg 4 it,Age 58 pay 4 it,Age 68 pray it,Age 78 4get it



Two tickets! -

I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.


Bail me ugly ...

im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me "possession of good looks".i'm doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up!



This way ^ up

Please turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry 370HSSV 0773H



Read Backwards

Piss the taking is someone that realise u this like times at its! NOW READ IT BACKWARDS!!

Kiss my ....

The fluffy clouds may kiss the sky, The rose may kiss the butterfly, The morning dew may kiss the grass,But u my friend can kiss my ass!

How about you?

Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well...Enough about ME! How about you?



Poor Mirror -

Mirrors should be able to think before reflecting the images..



Different types! -

There is: Hot-Sex, Fast-Sex, Cuddle-Sex, Safe-Sex, Group-Sex, SM-Sex, Telephone-Sex, Cyber-Sex, and for people like you: NO SEX.


No chicks!!

Hi, I am an alien and I'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook.. Searching.. Searching.. Searching.. Sorry,no chicks found! Gay? Conclusion: You Are Gay!



Belong to ZOO

Roses are red violines are bleu, a face like yours belongs to the zoo



Just for sexy

This sms can only be readed by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!

NHS report ...

The NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please report to your nearest hospital to be put down. We apologise for any inconvenience.

Dear friend...

A man can kiss his wife goodbye.A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass! so the world needs YOU after all!



What happned to you?

roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????



Message from God!

Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..





In pain...

If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.